Navigating not-great feedback like a champion
Scrolling on Threads last month, I rolled up on a thread(?) from therapist and author Nedra Tawwab that read, “A sign of growth is not allowing someone’s bad mood to affect your good mood.”
“Simple enough,” I thought. I’ll give it a like. I identify with this. This is how I see myself living my life.
But how I see myself living and how I’m actually living aren’t always aligned. Which is social media in a nutshell, TBH, but I digress. Putting “not allowing someone’s bad mood to affect my good mood” into practice has always been an issue for me, and it’s particularly trying when we’re talking about bad-mood-having clients who just completed a stomach-churning (for me) review of my copy.
Energy is contagious. That’s why you need a strong drink after an hour with your friend who overshares and takes the cake at self-sabotaging.
Infectious energy is why my creativity wanes when I receive feedback like, “This isn’t it, but I’ll know it when I see it...” or feedback that completely sidesteps what was asked for in the brief — ugh, or adds (a lot) to it. Or I receive feedback that results from misaligned stakeholders having totally different yet all definitely correct opinions. Or I get my fave kind of feedback – vague, directionally-challenged, and/or straight-up mean-spirited. It’s cool. Folks have bad days sometimes, and they want other folks to feel it.
These past scenarios have caused me to wonder, “Am I thin-skinned? Am I wrong for requiring extra turnaround time solely because I’m kinda f*cking pissed? You can’t be thin-skinned when you’re in the service business, Porsh. There’s no crying in baseball.” And also, #notallcopyreviews.
But after 16 years of writing professionally, I feel like I’ve finally figured out what I need to sift through to keep on writing (sans attitude) after these particularly challenging reviews. So, I’m sharing it with you.
Know Bad Vibes
First things first: recognize when you’ve embodied bad vibes (or maybe they aren’t “bad,” but they definitely aren’t you and are stopping you from killing it).
If I find myself replaying parts of a call — with anger in my heart — or obsessing over the tone of Google Docs comments, I’m infected.
It’s Them, Not You
My next step is hashing out how to move forward (like I said, sans attitude) and do my job satisfactorily.
To do this, I have to step into the client’s shoes. It’s called empathy. Is this a small business owner whose business is their literal baby (and surprise, surprise, they’re a helicopter parent)? Is this a corporate gig with misaligned stakeholders and a point of contact who’s 100% quiet-quit? Am I working with a self-appointed team leader who’s got something to prove and is banking on this very project catapulting their career? All good. As long as I understand the situation, I can adjust my attitude.
Call it the “it’s you, not me” approach – you recognize it from that one crappy relationship you had to let go. If you trust your expertise and copywriting process, this stance works. Think about it: if your process works for other clients, it works. You just need to tweak a few things this time around to “land the plane,” as they say.
Go Live
My next suggestion is a live, line-by-line review/workshop with all stakeholders (or with the point of contact after a “we’ve consolidated all stakeholder feedback” situation).
Let me tell you why I love a live workshop— the collaboration brings clarity to all parties. I go into copy workshops solution-oriented. I’m looking for stakeholders to give feedback that inspires me and makes me think about the concept in new ways. My goal is to listen, clarify, and make suggestions. I’m not necessarily trying to nail the lines in these sessions; it’s more about building a common ground by being transparent. I find that the process goes a lot smoother when clients have a sense of camaraderie in creating and are given more insight into how I work.
Reclaim Your Time
Quick confession—I don’t actually believe I’m wrong for giving myself some buffer time to turn around R2. *Insert black lady shrug emoji.* Not too much time—an extra day to regulate (whatever that means to you)—but I like to make sure I’m self-cared enough to start again with some excitement. If I have to write through the pain (read: with zero motivation), I already know more edits are bound to happen.
So, my tips for not letting a bad mood affect your good mood off top? I’ve got none. I guess I need more therapy. But let me say this: if being empathetic, client workshops, or taking extra time still aren’t working, maybe your and your client’s values are misaligned. In this case, my advice is to honor your feelings.
I freelanced for an agency last year, and on almost every project, I replaced an OG writer who’d fired the client (which is absolutely an agency red flag and something we can discuss another time). But you know what? Salute to those copywriters for honoring their feelings! If protecting ya copywriting neck means freeing yourself from creatively stifling situations, do the right thing.
Porsha Thomas is a writer and digital creator living in Atlanta, GA. Since 2008, she's hooked startups, SMBs, and corporate brands up with copy and content strategy while creating business and lifestyle content for unbossed women. She hosts Feminist Supper Club, a podcast by GOWRKGRLS, where she serves up devour-able dishes and conversations in the name of women’s liberation. A few of her favorite indulgences? Good food, good wine, good branding, and True Crime.
Navigating not-great feedback like a champion
Scrolling on Threads last month, I rolled up on a thread(?) from therapist and author Nedra Tawwab that read, “A sign of growth is not allowing someone’s bad mood to affect your good mood.”
“Simple enough,” I thought. I’ll give it a like. I identify with this. This is how I see myself living my life.
But how I see myself living and how I’m actually living aren’t always aligned. Which is social media in a nutshell, TBH, but I digress. Putting “not allowing someone’s bad mood to affect my good mood” into practice has always been an issue for me, and it’s particularly trying when we’re talking about bad-mood-having clients who just completed a stomach-churning (for me) review of my copy.
Energy is contagious. That’s why you need a strong drink after an hour with your friend who overshares and takes the cake at self-sabotaging.
Infectious energy is why my creativity wanes when I receive feedback like, “This isn’t it, but I’ll know it when I see it...” or feedback that completely sidesteps what was asked for in the brief — ugh, or adds (a lot) to it. Or I receive feedback that results from misaligned stakeholders having totally different yet all definitely correct opinions. Or I get my fave kind of feedback – vague, directionally-challenged, and/or straight-up mean-spirited. It’s cool. Folks have bad days sometimes, and they want other folks to feel it.
These past scenarios have caused me to wonder, “Am I thin-skinned? Am I wrong for requiring extra turnaround time solely because I’m kinda f*cking pissed? You can’t be thin-skinned when you’re in the service business, Porsh. There’s no crying in baseball.” And also, #notallcopyreviews.
But after 16 years of writing professionally, I feel like I’ve finally figured out what I need to sift through to keep on writing (sans attitude) after these particularly challenging reviews. So, I’m sharing it with you.
Know Bad Vibes
First things first: recognize when you’ve embodied bad vibes (or maybe they aren’t “bad,” but they definitely aren’t you and are stopping you from killing it).
If I find myself replaying parts of a call — with anger in my heart — or obsessing over the tone of Google Docs comments, I’m infected.
It’s Them, Not You
My next step is hashing out how to move forward (like I said, sans attitude) and do my job satisfactorily.
To do this, I have to step into the client’s shoes. It’s called empathy. Is this a small business owner whose business is their literal baby (and surprise, surprise, they’re a helicopter parent)? Is this a corporate gig with misaligned stakeholders and a point of contact who’s 100% quiet-quit? Am I working with a self-appointed team leader who’s got something to prove and is banking on this very project catapulting their career? All good. As long as I understand the situation, I can adjust my attitude.
Call it the “it’s you, not me” approach – you recognize it from that one crappy relationship you had to let go. If you trust your expertise and copywriting process, this stance works. Think about it: if your process works for other clients, it works. You just need to tweak a few things this time around to “land the plane,” as they say.
Go Live
My next suggestion is a live, line-by-line review/workshop with all stakeholders (or with the point of contact after a “we’ve consolidated all stakeholder feedback” situation).
Let me tell you why I love a live workshop— the collaboration brings clarity to all parties. I go into copy workshops solution-oriented. I’m looking for stakeholders to give feedback that inspires me and makes me think about the concept in new ways. My goal is to listen, clarify, and make suggestions. I’m not necessarily trying to nail the lines in these sessions; it’s more about building a common ground by being transparent. I find that the process goes a lot smoother when clients have a sense of camaraderie in creating and are given more insight into how I work.
Reclaim Your Time
Quick confession—I don’t actually believe I’m wrong for giving myself some buffer time to turn around R2. *Insert black lady shrug emoji.* Not too much time—an extra day to regulate (whatever that means to you)—but I like to make sure I’m self-cared enough to start again with some excitement. If I have to write through the pain (read: with zero motivation), I already know more edits are bound to happen.
So, my tips for not letting a bad mood affect your good mood off top? I’ve got none. I guess I need more therapy. But let me say this: if being empathetic, client workshops, or taking extra time still aren’t working, maybe your and your client’s values are misaligned. In this case, my advice is to honor your feelings.
I freelanced for an agency last year, and on almost every project, I replaced an OG writer who’d fired the client (which is absolutely an agency red flag and something we can discuss another time). But you know what? Salute to those copywriters for honoring their feelings! If protecting ya copywriting neck means freeing yourself from creatively stifling situations, do the right thing.
Porsha Thomas is a writer and digital creator living in Atlanta, GA. Since 2008, she's hooked startups, SMBs, and corporate brands up with copy and content strategy while creating business and lifestyle content for unbossed women. She hosts Feminist Supper Club, a podcast by GOWRKGRLS, where she serves up devour-able dishes and conversations in the name of women’s liberation. A few of her favorite indulgences? Good food, good wine, good branding, and True Crime.
Further Reading
